Worry Consumes

I never really considered myself a worrier- I thought of worry as being overly concerned and bothered by imagined future problems and allowing them to steal the joy from the present moment, which is not something I generally do; but thanks to the life-changing personality tool, the Enneagram, I know that worry is essentially fear, and fear is the underlying “root sin” in my life — it’s my go-to default emotion when I feel less than secure about my life and often end up, in a life-defying way, taking things into my own hands. So when the Bible has something to say about fear or worry, I try to pay particular attention to those passages. These words of Jesus on worry from Matthew 6:25–34 went straight to my Type 6 heart (this is my Enneagram personality number, one of nine that all people share): “Do not worry, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear?” (Matthew 6:31, NRSV) Though I don’t generally ask these particular questions Jesus mentions, I know his words apply to others I might pose about my life circumstances and I try to remember them when questions do form in my mind; but when I read this verse today in The Voice I was startled by the way Jesus’ familiar words were translated: “Do not consume yourself with questions…” The word “worry” (and its often-used synonym, “fret” — see Psalm 37) actually means “to strangle,” and “fret” means “to devour or consume, to wear away” the way in which a mouse gnaws away at a piece of rope, for instance; but in this use, I think what Jesus is saying is that what ends up being consumed or devoured when we worry is actually ourselves! By giving way to vague anxieties about the future, by peppering my thoughts with “what-if?” questions, I am essentially taking God out of my life; I am wearing away at myself, strangling Life out of the situation and I am the one who ends up gasping for breath. I become like a frantic wild animal caught in a trap chewing its own paw off to escape, when what I need to do is to remember who God is and how God works. By taking the focus off myself and my concerns- actual or projected- I give God space to be in my life. Jesus offers instruction on how to do this, “Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions…Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow.” (Matthew 6: 33–34 -The Message) I must willingly and fully enter God’s reality. Instead of consuming myself, I need to become a tea-bag, subsuming myself into my God-given circumstances, allowing my fears to dissipate as I steep myself in who God is and how God works. The antidote to worry, then, is a good cup of God-tea! I may need to keep a pot on!

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