How Silencing Yourself can Be a Silent Killer

Silence isn’t always golden.

I subscribe to the belief that in relationships that you should pick your battles. If you don’t, it is easy to fight with another person about every decision. You come from different perspectives, backgrounds and share different experiences. You are not always going to meet eye-to-eye.

But, there is a difference between choosing not to argue about something or make it in issue than it is to silence yourself.

Self-Silencing is a chronic mindset of staying quiet because you think sharing your thoughts will threaten the relationship and you choose to prioritize the needs of the other person over your own needs.

Anger suppression is not self-regulation. It’s self-abandonment in response to possible retaliation, disconnection or loss. The person decides that rather than risk the disconnection from the other person that they will disconnect from self, deny their emotions and silence their thoughts.

The cost of being quiet to get along could be a higher price to pay than some realize.

Aggression in girls and women is discouraged. Society encourages women to be nice, pleasing and genuinely accepting despite how you might feel on the inside. I believe men are also forced to bite their tongue in relationships and can also be susceptible to self-silencing if they have an emotionally fragile or manipulative partner. However, overall, it is more socially acceptable for a man to display anger or to have outlets for his anger.

The goal of this is not to pit men against women or to make women appear long-suffering in relationships.

It is to draw attention to how disagreements in relationships are handled and an awareness…

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